Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
