help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
