he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize