your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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