remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Green mimosas i think yes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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