and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
