I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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