Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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