absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
