i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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