How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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