Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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