just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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