i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
