He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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