It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
