Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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