I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.