Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

(352): View more from Florida

WHAT?!

(407): View more from Florida

He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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(407): So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch. (352): WHAT?! (407): He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/9qqv

Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (2441)
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(330): View more from Ohio

She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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(330): She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker http://tfl.nu/3dfg

Replies (36) Good night (794) Bad night (5289)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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(604): mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday. http://tfl.nu/2gms

Replies (7) Good night (924) Bad night (4590)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair

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(517): Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair http://tfl.nu/ktbm

Replies (10) Good night (917) Bad night (8085)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.

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(412): Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody. http://tfl.nu/qy8l

Replies (7) Good night (986) Bad night (4948)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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(318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m

Replies (7) Good night (3469) Bad night (894)
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(816): View more from Missouri

He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.

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(816): He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock. http://tfl.nu/m79f

Replies (5) Good night (2450) Bad night (672)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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(907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd

Replies (11) Good night (903) Bad night (1699)
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(708): View more from Illinois

is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?

(1-708): View more from Illinois

head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way

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(708): is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower? (1-708): head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way http://tfl.nu/d98n

Replies (2) Good night (1491) Bad night (600)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.

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(709): Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him. http://tfl.nu/nwj5

Replies (14) Good night (849) Bad night (411)
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(512): View more from Texas

"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.

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(512): "Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me. http://tfl.nu/6uta

Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (353)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.

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(307): I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it. http://tfl.nu/nkno

Replies (4) Good night (290) Bad night (936)
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(618): View more from Illinois

ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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(618): ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/3dit

Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (291)
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(616): View more from Michigan

orgasmnado...tomorrow night

(1-616): View more from Michigan

That's what I'm talking about

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(616): orgasmnado...tomorrow night (1-616): That's what I'm talking about http://tfl.nu/v1ax

Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (185)
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(310): View more from California

Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.

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(310): Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed. http://tfl.nu/wzcc

Replies (2) Good night (145) Bad night (281)

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