I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
