i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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