At least make sure they are 18
Why
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
