My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
