everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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