I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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