She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
