How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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