And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
