yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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