the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
