Swine flu. Run for my life!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
