I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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