Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
