Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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