I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
