We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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