dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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