Your tits are I can't wait for
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"