do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
