we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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