So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
