Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm getting married
To pizza
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
