Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
