So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize