Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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