i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
