It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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