You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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