I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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