haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My balls are so social today.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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