hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's always time for handjobs
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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