No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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