never play flip cup with pint glasses
there was a trapeze. enough said
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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