they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
