i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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