I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
