Pants 0. Shit 1.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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