We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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